T H E * G O P * D U M B * G U N S

(Note: this page is a parody of a REAL PAGE, sponsored by the RNCC: The GOP Young Guns...
it's hard to believe these guys could be that...DUMB!)

Look out!
The Republican Party has a new secret weapon: 

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makin' America safe for rich, frightened, uptight, white men...

The Dumb Guns charge through thick and thin, long and short, dumb and dumber...
     led by the tuneless trio:
        Erique Kantor(R-VA), 
        Keffin McKooty(R-CA),
        and Paulo Raine (R-WI).
The Dumb Guns mean to fetch a posse and ride herd on all the outlaw liberales they can lasso. Once they got them rabid, progressivatin' liberales hog-tied, they reckon to bring 'em yonder to Sheriff Boner's Shady Deal Ranch for a high noon pistol pluckin' duel.

 Sheriff John "Dickie" Boner

The Dumb Guns ain't just for old white men! The Guns have an eye out for young boys and girls with the right stuff, too.

They take innocent kids and teach 'em how to be mean-spirited, deceitful, covetous, and avaricious...
       ...Dumb Guns

How do they instill these GOP principles in young kids? Why, that's easy, partner: they play Monopoly with them kids, rollin' loaded dice.

Them kids find out right quick what it means to be a loser, and how to cheat at business without blinkin'. Them kids practically earn MBA's 'fore it's time to break camp at Dickie Boner's Dumb Gun Ranch! Yee-hah!

(the kids' faces have been blanked out to protect the innocent, a notion the Dumb Guns  do not subscribe to)

Yup, them Dumb Guns sure is a righteous bunch. Some of 'em have special needs, though. Like former Senator Larry Craig, former Representative Mark Foley, and recently resigned Representative Christopher Lee (who likes to send his picture to folks -- see below). At Shady Deal Ranch everyone's needs are accommodated with old-fashioned, down home hospitality:

Former Representative Mark Foley

Former Senator Larry Craig
Former Representative Christopher Lee -- photo: NY Times

So, if you're frustrated, uptight, and angry at immigrants and minorities, don't bother "hiking the Appalachian Trail" with some Brazilian you hardly know, come on over and join the Dumb Gun fun. Everyone's welcome, as long as you're uptight and white, and full o' vitriol!


Avid hiker, Mark Sanford


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spewin' half-truths and misdirection... 

Cowpokin' Paulo Raine

Cattle Rustlin' Keffin McKooty

Six Shootin' Erique Kantor

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ridin' America into the ground...